The Lighter View

At times what's going on around us and the troubles of the world can weigh down on us. Sometimes we just need a break. So today, rather than write about something serious, I thought I'd take a lighter tack. I hope you don't mind and I hope my friend who exchanged emails with me doesn't mind my publishing a slightly modified version of her prose. What follows is friendly banter between two friends through email.


I know, I know, today's not a special occasion or anything, but I thought I'd write anyway. Mainly because I have something out of the ordinarily drab day-to-day life that happened to me so I actually have something to write about. Now don't get your hopes up, it's not all that much, just something that doesn't happen every day (thank goodness).

I almost sliced my thumb off a few days ago. See, I told you it was noteworthy (and something I'm glad doesn't happen on a regular basis). OK, so I am exaggerating, I didn't even cut to the bone or anything, but I probably should have gotten stitches. However I'd rather not spend my money on doctors. I don't know how it was in your family, but me not going to the doctor's is not too different from how we were raised: you practically had to be on your way to the morgue before my dad would take you to the doctor. I was so scared when I got hit by a car when I was seven; not because I thought I would die from the accident, but because I thought my dad would kill me from having to go to the hospital!

Anyway, back to the present ... We put gauze on my thumb and secured it with a couple of band aids (oh, excuse me, that should be Band-Aid brand or, since we go for the cheapos, "adhesive bandages"). When I took the gauze off in the morning my thumb was still bleeding quite well, thank you (hopefully this is interesting rather than just grossing you out). So I resorted to my home remedy stitching. No, I'm not some macho guy who took out the needle and thread like you see in those westerns or war movies. I used super glue (oops, there I go again, Super Glue brand aka cyanoacrylate glue) and ARM & HAMMER® Pure Baking Soda. The baking soda kicks off the glue quickly which stops the bleeding. It puts a protective coating over the wound and acts kind of like a synthetic scab (see, now I really am grossing you out). Of course I covered it with an "adhesive bandage" so I could stem the flood of people questioning me as to why I would walk around with a big glob of Super Glue® and baking soda on my thumb! In case you're wondering, my thumb is healing well and I only cry once a day now when nobody's looking. Of course I'm milking it for all it's worth and while I'm milking it, I hope you appreciate the sacrifice I'm making to type with an gimp thumb and the pain I'm experiencing with every space bar press (just kidding, I'm pressing the space bar with my other thumb).

Please write back and let me know about all the exciting things that are new in your life. You know, like how your laundry's coming or how you just can't wait for the next episode of your favorite TV show, stuff like that. :-) Just kidding. Your life is probably much more exciting than mine.

Take care,

Your Super Glued Friend


You didn't respond to my last email so it looks like my worst fears have been realized - you really DID get super-glue-poisoning in your thumb, then had to type one-handed until you got carpal tunnel in your "good" hand, and now since you have to type only with your toes, it's slowed you down so much that you can only type a sentence a week... am I right??? And if that's the case, I'm going to be really, really patient in waiting to hear anything from you.

Seriously, I hope your stitch-less-ness is working out for you, and that your injury is healing properly. Although we've never had much money in either my current family or my family of origin, we always thought that scrimping on life-or-death (or maiming) issues was (just barely) out of the question. Really just checking on you - hope everything's okay for you and your family.

Take care!

Your Concerned Friend

P.S. Wait - did you ever say how your slashing came about??


I like your excuse much better than the one I was going to make up. You're sooo funny!

Sorry it took way too long to write back to you. Got a question for you: If someone's expected to speak and doesn't, we say the cat's got their tongue. What poor defenseless animal can we blame for not writing back?

The other common household pet, the dog, doesn't work because he's too engrossed in eating my homework to blame on this. Besides, he's too lazy to do anything else anyway. I'd certainly like to blame it on that dang monkey on my back (he's so annoying) but he's having too much fun pulling out my hair (no wonder I'm balding). I could get rid of him if I'd pull a tiger by the tail (monkeys don't like sticking around when there's another animal up the food chain from them) but I'm not too fond of man-eating tigers, though that would certainly provide a great excuse for not writing back (hard to do when you're dead, you know).

No one would ever believe a fox did it; they're far too sly to have blame stick to them. It's like they wear Teflon or something. The owl's too wise, the bee's too busy, and the lark is just too freaking happy to keep anyone from doing what they should. I've got it! I'll blame it on the mule. You see, I've been trying to write you back, but that mule won't budge, that stubborn animal! (Actually it was my fingers that wouldn't budge, but they act just like mules sometimes.)

My thumb is doing much better. Thanks for asking. I can use it normally now ... well, normally for a grossly scarred piece of meat (just kidding). It's too early to tell how bad the scar will be, but it looks like it won't be too bad. I guess I'll have to go on the road and declare the merits of Super Glue to the world.

To answer your question on how I slashed my thumb: it was while I was building a computer. Yeah, I know, computer geeks are considered to have a low-risk lifestyle--sedentary with lots of pizza (hmph, and they call that low-risk! Think of all the artery clogging!)--but computers can be downright mean. Computer cases are usually made out of pretty thin metal, i.e., razor thin. My hand slipped while I was trying to put something in place and, zing!, slice city. Oh the risks we take to bring the world technological Nirvana.

Well, I've been silly long enough, so I'll sign off. Hope this email finds you and yours well and happy as a freaking lark.

Take care,

Your Super Glued and Healing Friend