Hollywood and envelopes go together like bread and butter. By "Hollywood" I mean the entertainment industry, wherever they're located. They love envelopes, not just the award show type, but pushing whatever envelopes they can find, no matter what's in them.
This past week I was watching one of the few television shows I view on a regular basis and witnessed an envelope bursting wide open. As a result I took the show off my DVR schedule. I don't need to waste my time on such garbage. Why is the goal to "push the envelope" rather than to offer something worthwhile?
Those who have a voice in determining the awards for those envelope-laden shows seem to value envelope pushing above all other criteria as though that's the only thing needed to be artistic. "And the award goes to ..." the episode that shows the most flesh, because no show has gone that far before; or to the movie that depicts the most despicable acts because to date no one else has dared show such disgusting scenes, etc. What's the value in that? When I get done watching a show I want to feel that my life was somehow enriched by it (even if that means I just got to relax a little), not that I've lost some of my humanity.
And speaking of envelopes, what about the ones that pushed onto the scene from 1978 to 1995 killing three people and injuring 23 with bombs? And the follow-up envelope to The New York Times on April 24, 1995, containing the demand to print verbatim the 35,000-word paper Industrial Society and Its Future? Wouldn't you say Theodore John Kaczynski, aka the Unabomber, knew how to push envelopes? Would Hollywood give him an award for his "artistry"? Hey Hollywood, instead of trying to push envelopes, why don't we all do what's appropriate and beneficial for society?
I suppose Hollywood feels pushing envelopes is the best way to get their bread and butter and they're going to Milk it for all it's worth. "The envelope please." And the loser is ... us.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
The Lighter View: The Fattening of America
The number of overweight Americans continues to rise. By some estimates two-thirds of American adults are already overweight. What's the cause? Genetic factors? Overeating? Sedentary lifestyle? American's penchant for sweet, deep-fried and fattening foods?
No, it's those dang Girl Scouts! That's right, every year they tempt the American public with delectable cookies. If they had just one or two choices we could write it off as an attempt to raise funds. But with their wide selection of irresistible delicacies it's gotta be a conspiracy to fatten us up. Don't believe me? Oh, just go ahead and try to tell them you're on a diet and couldn't possibly buy their wares. They'll give you those puppy dog eyes of theirs and guilt you into giving up your cash.
Answer me this: if it's really to raise funds, why don't they tell you the money goes toward their feminist indoctrinations? Huh? You didn't really think they baked all those cookies themselves, did you? Oh no, they enslave those poor little male Keebler elves to do all their dirty work for them!
Oh, but they only sell them for a season instead of year-round. If their hidden agenda were to fatten up Americans, they would sell them all the time, you say. Don't you see? That's the genius of their plan! If they were always available it would be easy for you to turn them down because there'd be no impetus to buy right now and stock up for the whole year. Let's face it, you know you buy more boxes of cookies than you could possibly eat in an entire year ... or so you think. Am I right or am I right? But you know what happens, don't you? Uh huh, you eat them all up in six months or less, one box per sitting, and gain an extra 30+ pounds every year that you couldn't possibly take off in the remaining time before you buy your next supply.
So what's your favorite? The Thin Mints? The Samoas? Are you a peanut butter or lemon freak or are you a more traditional shortbread or chocolate chip person? Don't you see? They have all the bases covered. When you drool at their website, go ahead and click on the nutrition facts, as though there were any nutrition in those evil temptresses we call Girl Scout cookies. The average number of calories for just one single, solitary cookie is over 50! That means some boxes have 1200 or more calories that you're downing in that one sitting. Oh, the cellulitic horror of it all!
So the next time a seemingly defenseless, cute little cherubic Girl Scout comes to your door with her only hope for the survival of her organization, just say no. Stop the madness. Do it for yourself. Do it for America!
No, it's those dang Girl Scouts! That's right, every year they tempt the American public with delectable cookies. If they had just one or two choices we could write it off as an attempt to raise funds. But with their wide selection of irresistible delicacies it's gotta be a conspiracy to fatten us up. Don't believe me? Oh, just go ahead and try to tell them you're on a diet and couldn't possibly buy their wares. They'll give you those puppy dog eyes of theirs and guilt you into giving up your cash.
Answer me this: if it's really to raise funds, why don't they tell you the money goes toward their feminist indoctrinations? Huh? You didn't really think they baked all those cookies themselves, did you? Oh no, they enslave those poor little male Keebler elves to do all their dirty work for them!
Oh, but they only sell them for a season instead of year-round. If their hidden agenda were to fatten up Americans, they would sell them all the time, you say. Don't you see? That's the genius of their plan! If they were always available it would be easy for you to turn them down because there'd be no impetus to buy right now and stock up for the whole year. Let's face it, you know you buy more boxes of cookies than you could possibly eat in an entire year ... or so you think. Am I right or am I right? But you know what happens, don't you? Uh huh, you eat them all up in six months or less, one box per sitting, and gain an extra 30+ pounds every year that you couldn't possibly take off in the remaining time before you buy your next supply.
So what's your favorite? The Thin Mints? The Samoas? Are you a peanut butter or lemon freak or are you a more traditional shortbread or chocolate chip person? Don't you see? They have all the bases covered. When you drool at their website, go ahead and click on the nutrition facts, as though there were any nutrition in those evil temptresses we call Girl Scout cookies. The average number of calories for just one single, solitary cookie is over 50! That means some boxes have 1200 or more calories that you're downing in that one sitting. Oh, the cellulitic horror of it all!
So the next time a seemingly defenseless, cute little cherubic Girl Scout comes to your door with her only hope for the survival of her organization, just say no. Stop the madness. Do it for yourself. Do it for America!
Friday, April 10, 2009
We're Involved In "War On Terrorism" Halfway Around The World, But Where's Our "War On Drugs"?
Early yesterday morning a 22-year-old male--who, according to police, was driving with a suspended license because of a previous drunken driving conviction--allegedly ran a red light, broadsided a car killing three people and seriously injuring another, and then fled the scene. Also according to police, the accused had a blood-alcohol level that was substantially over the legal limit. He was booked in jail on three counts of murder, three counts of vehicular manslaughter, felony hit-and-run, felony driving under the influence of alcohol and leaving the scene of an accident. You may have heard about this incident given that one of the victims was Los Angeles Angels' pitcher Nick Adenhart.
This isn't the first time we've heard about someone who's been drinking and driving and is then let out/off so the crime can be repeated, and unfortunately it won't be the last time either. Alcohol is a drug. As a society we don't like to face that fact, just look at the 21st Amendment to the United States Constitution which repealed the 18th (prohibition), but nonetheless alcohol is a legal recreational drug. Some are calling to legalize other recreational drugs. No, I'm not a member of MADD and I'm not currently calling for the reinstitution of prohibition, but I am asking us to look at how serious we are as a nation at fighting against harmful drugs. Alcohol has killed, does kill, and will continue to kill many innocent people, not to mention all the other harms that it heaps upon its victims. Do we really want to create even more sorrow by allowing other recreational drugs to be legal? Don't we already have enough to handle with just alcohol? If we really have a war on drugs, why aren't drunken driving penalties more stringent?
Here's another one to contemplate. I run the drug screening program where I work. More times than I'd like to admit, results come back positive for the use of illegal drugs. If we really have a war on drugs in this country, why isn't it mandatory for medical facilities to turn this information over to the police to use in convicting proven law breakers? I know what some of you are thinking, "Do you realize how much more overcrowded our jails would be if we did that?" And my response is the same, "How serious are we?"
Some of the people I work with are ex-cons (not necessarily for drugs). I am told that it's pretty easy to get drugs in prison because they are brought in by the prison guards! True or not, shouldn't there be drug sniffing dogs at all prisons? That is, if we're truly serious about reducing illegal drug use and distribution? This is just one example, but there are many other actions we can take to make obtaining illegal drugs much harder.
In wartime people get killed. From drug lords to dealers, many on that side of the "war" kill those who would oppose them. We're even told they have some pretty heavy weaponry. But in addition to killing their enemies they also kill their own, those that work for them and the lowly users (either directly or indirectly through overdoses). Isn't that what Hitler did, kill his own as well as his enemies? To take the comparison even further, their "Jews" are those in law enforcement, except for those on the take of course. We seem to hold Hitler up as one of the most, if not the most, evil despots in the history of the world. Drug lords are in essence little Hitlers who infiltrate nations with their wares and kill myriads of people. Are we as united in ridding the world of such murderers as we were at ridding the world of the genocial maniac of WWII? How serious are we?
Where is our war on drugs? Where is your war on drugs? How serious are you?
This isn't the first time we've heard about someone who's been drinking and driving and is then let out/off so the crime can be repeated, and unfortunately it won't be the last time either. Alcohol is a drug. As a society we don't like to face that fact, just look at the 21st Amendment to the United States Constitution which repealed the 18th (prohibition), but nonetheless alcohol is a legal recreational drug. Some are calling to legalize other recreational drugs. No, I'm not a member of MADD and I'm not currently calling for the reinstitution of prohibition, but I am asking us to look at how serious we are as a nation at fighting against harmful drugs. Alcohol has killed, does kill, and will continue to kill many innocent people, not to mention all the other harms that it heaps upon its victims. Do we really want to create even more sorrow by allowing other recreational drugs to be legal? Don't we already have enough to handle with just alcohol? If we really have a war on drugs, why aren't drunken driving penalties more stringent?
Here's another one to contemplate. I run the drug screening program where I work. More times than I'd like to admit, results come back positive for the use of illegal drugs. If we really have a war on drugs in this country, why isn't it mandatory for medical facilities to turn this information over to the police to use in convicting proven law breakers? I know what some of you are thinking, "Do you realize how much more overcrowded our jails would be if we did that?" And my response is the same, "How serious are we?"
Some of the people I work with are ex-cons (not necessarily for drugs). I am told that it's pretty easy to get drugs in prison because they are brought in by the prison guards! True or not, shouldn't there be drug sniffing dogs at all prisons? That is, if we're truly serious about reducing illegal drug use and distribution? This is just one example, but there are many other actions we can take to make obtaining illegal drugs much harder.
In wartime people get killed. From drug lords to dealers, many on that side of the "war" kill those who would oppose them. We're even told they have some pretty heavy weaponry. But in addition to killing their enemies they also kill their own, those that work for them and the lowly users (either directly or indirectly through overdoses). Isn't that what Hitler did, kill his own as well as his enemies? To take the comparison even further, their "Jews" are those in law enforcement, except for those on the take of course. We seem to hold Hitler up as one of the most, if not the most, evil despots in the history of the world. Drug lords are in essence little Hitlers who infiltrate nations with their wares and kill myriads of people. Are we as united in ridding the world of such murderers as we were at ridding the world of the genocial maniac of WWII? How serious are we?
Where is our war on drugs? Where is your war on drugs? How serious are you?
Friday, April 3, 2009
An Evolving Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, which time was too long ago for anyone to know, there was a land far away from majestic mountaintops. It came to be known as the Valley of E.
This was no ordinary place. The Valley of E had perfect weather. Well … almost. Sometimes the weather would act as if it had a mind of its own. A storm could begin and end in the blink of an eye. That is, if there were any eyes around to blink. You see, the Valley of E was uninhabited. Everyone lived in the mountains.
A river ran down the middle of the valley. It branched off into many streams and creeks. This was fortunate because without a good water supply the small patch of sugar cane could not survive. Off to the east stood one magnificent olive tree. To the west was a field of wheat. Beyond the wheat it was barren. The only thing there was a dry salt bed.
But the most significant feature of the Valley of E was a rather odd rock formation that rested at the edge of a grove of trees. It was long and flat except at one end where there was a rectangular hollow at the bottom. From the hollow the rock rose up and curled like a wave of the sea.
Late one day a strong wind blew in from the west and almost stripped the wheat field clean. Kernels were flying everywhere. Not only kernels, but also a few crystals from the salt bed beyond were picked up and tossed about. The wind was so ferocious it carried wheat and salt all the way to the rock formation and dashed them to powder against the part of the rock that looked like a wave. When the wind finally ceased some of the powder came to rest in the rectangular hollow of the rock.
Though the weather was typically perfect, this was a strange couple of days, for early the next morning another strong wind swept through the valley. This time it came from the east. Leaves from the grove were stripped from the trees and covered the sky. The sugar cane, which had barely survived the previous night, could no longer withstand the wind. Cane was tossed to and fro, fro and to until it was hurled against the wave of the rock. As the cane continued on its wayward course some of its sweetness dripped into the hollow.
The magnificent olive tree was mighty and could not be broken by the wind. However, leaves and olives were ripped from its branches. As with the cane, wheat and salt, olives were pounded against the wave of the rock. By this time the wind was so strong that what oil came of such severe pounding was blown up, not down, and settled in a depression on top of the wave. When the wind died down leaves floated to the ground. Some came to rest on top of the oil.
The weather continued its unusual course and a light rain immediately followed. Oddly enough the rock was shaped in such an ideal way that it protected what was now in the hollow of the rock from getting soaked. But the rain did fall on the leaves and olive oil on top of the wave. The depression soon filled with rain and water ran down the side of the rock. The rainwater carried oil into the hollow as well as some fungus that had washed off the leaves.
In harmony with this strange weather pattern the light rain did not last long. It was now late morning and the sun shone brightly. The sun continued to heat the ground rapidly until after midday when a whirlwind sprang up. This dust devil formed on the flat part of the rock and therefore did not have any dust in it. It began to move but then got caught under the wave and couldn’t escape. The whirlwind caused quite a stir in the hollow of the rock. Everything that had previously landed in the hollow was mixed together so well one would think it had been done on purpose. Whirlwinds are known to have brief lifespans and this one was no exception.
The weather finally settled down. But now the ground decided to have its turn. And turn it did, into an all-out, rough and tumble earthquake! The whole valley shook. The earthquake shot the rock formation into the air. As the rock reversed its course to fall to the ground the mixture in the hollow popped out, hit the top of the rock, folded in half, twisted a quarter turn and landed back in the hollow with a plop. Whenever the rock fell back to earth it shot back into the air. And each time the mixture performed the same dance: it popped out, hit and folded in half, twisted and landed back in the hollow. After a short time the violent shaking stopped.
The bright sun kept the temperature warm. The fungus that had been carried into the hollow fed off the sugar causing the mixture to rise to twice its original size. Then aftershocks hit! Each time one hit the rock jumped and the mixture again did its dance, which caused it to deflate a bit. The aftershocks did not last long, but the weather continued to be warm and the mixture once again rose to twice its size.
By this time another storm was brewing and the air began to cool. The weather now seemed to be answering the ground with a shock of its own: lightning! It was only one bolt—for now—but that’s all it took to light up the trees at the edge of the grove. The bolt hit with a thunderous crash and the trees burst into flames. Many of them fell to the ground around the rock formation and caused the temperature of the rock to rise about five times what it had been. The trees did not burn completely before the fire died out, but they did burn long enough for the mixture to turn into
a beautifully browned, perfectly baked loaf of bread!
The bread did not remain undisturbed very long before the ground and the weather decided to have one last argument. Another aftershock hit and the bread rumbled in the hollow. Then lightning struck again! This time it hit the magnificent olive tree and shattered it into shards of wood. Those pieces of wood came flying toward the rock just as the full force of the aftershock caused the loaf to break free and leap into the air. The shards fanned out and cut right through the bread, bounced off the wave and cleared the rock.
The pieces of bread fell downward and rolled until they came to rest on the flat part of the rock. And there it sat:
a perfectly sliced, delicious, fresh loaf of bread!
A man (of questionable heritage, they say), who thought life would be better far from his home in the mountains, happened upon the tempting loaf of bread. He stooped down and picked up a slice. After examining his newfound treasure he took a bite, relished in the taste and believed he would live happily ever after.
But alas, butter would not be created accidentally for another billion years!
This was no ordinary place. The Valley of E had perfect weather. Well … almost. Sometimes the weather would act as if it had a mind of its own. A storm could begin and end in the blink of an eye. That is, if there were any eyes around to blink. You see, the Valley of E was uninhabited. Everyone lived in the mountains.
A river ran down the middle of the valley. It branched off into many streams and creeks. This was fortunate because without a good water supply the small patch of sugar cane could not survive. Off to the east stood one magnificent olive tree. To the west was a field of wheat. Beyond the wheat it was barren. The only thing there was a dry salt bed.
But the most significant feature of the Valley of E was a rather odd rock formation that rested at the edge of a grove of trees. It was long and flat except at one end where there was a rectangular hollow at the bottom. From the hollow the rock rose up and curled like a wave of the sea.
Late one day a strong wind blew in from the west and almost stripped the wheat field clean. Kernels were flying everywhere. Not only kernels, but also a few crystals from the salt bed beyond were picked up and tossed about. The wind was so ferocious it carried wheat and salt all the way to the rock formation and dashed them to powder against the part of the rock that looked like a wave. When the wind finally ceased some of the powder came to rest in the rectangular hollow of the rock.
Though the weather was typically perfect, this was a strange couple of days, for early the next morning another strong wind swept through the valley. This time it came from the east. Leaves from the grove were stripped from the trees and covered the sky. The sugar cane, which had barely survived the previous night, could no longer withstand the wind. Cane was tossed to and fro, fro and to until it was hurled against the wave of the rock. As the cane continued on its wayward course some of its sweetness dripped into the hollow.
The magnificent olive tree was mighty and could not be broken by the wind. However, leaves and olives were ripped from its branches. As with the cane, wheat and salt, olives were pounded against the wave of the rock. By this time the wind was so strong that what oil came of such severe pounding was blown up, not down, and settled in a depression on top of the wave. When the wind died down leaves floated to the ground. Some came to rest on top of the oil.
The weather continued its unusual course and a light rain immediately followed. Oddly enough the rock was shaped in such an ideal way that it protected what was now in the hollow of the rock from getting soaked. But the rain did fall on the leaves and olive oil on top of the wave. The depression soon filled with rain and water ran down the side of the rock. The rainwater carried oil into the hollow as well as some fungus that had washed off the leaves.
In harmony with this strange weather pattern the light rain did not last long. It was now late morning and the sun shone brightly. The sun continued to heat the ground rapidly until after midday when a whirlwind sprang up. This dust devil formed on the flat part of the rock and therefore did not have any dust in it. It began to move but then got caught under the wave and couldn’t escape. The whirlwind caused quite a stir in the hollow of the rock. Everything that had previously landed in the hollow was mixed together so well one would think it had been done on purpose. Whirlwinds are known to have brief lifespans and this one was no exception.
The weather finally settled down. But now the ground decided to have its turn. And turn it did, into an all-out, rough and tumble earthquake! The whole valley shook. The earthquake shot the rock formation into the air. As the rock reversed its course to fall to the ground the mixture in the hollow popped out, hit the top of the rock, folded in half, twisted a quarter turn and landed back in the hollow with a plop. Whenever the rock fell back to earth it shot back into the air. And each time the mixture performed the same dance: it popped out, hit and folded in half, twisted and landed back in the hollow. After a short time the violent shaking stopped.
The bright sun kept the temperature warm. The fungus that had been carried into the hollow fed off the sugar causing the mixture to rise to twice its original size. Then aftershocks hit! Each time one hit the rock jumped and the mixture again did its dance, which caused it to deflate a bit. The aftershocks did not last long, but the weather continued to be warm and the mixture once again rose to twice its size.
By this time another storm was brewing and the air began to cool. The weather now seemed to be answering the ground with a shock of its own: lightning! It was only one bolt—for now—but that’s all it took to light up the trees at the edge of the grove. The bolt hit with a thunderous crash and the trees burst into flames. Many of them fell to the ground around the rock formation and caused the temperature of the rock to rise about five times what it had been. The trees did not burn completely before the fire died out, but they did burn long enough for the mixture to turn into
a beautifully browned, perfectly baked loaf of bread!
The bread did not remain undisturbed very long before the ground and the weather decided to have one last argument. Another aftershock hit and the bread rumbled in the hollow. Then lightning struck again! This time it hit the magnificent olive tree and shattered it into shards of wood. Those pieces of wood came flying toward the rock just as the full force of the aftershock caused the loaf to break free and leap into the air. The shards fanned out and cut right through the bread, bounced off the wave and cleared the rock.
The pieces of bread fell downward and rolled until they came to rest on the flat part of the rock. And there it sat:
a perfectly sliced, delicious, fresh loaf of bread!
A man (of questionable heritage, they say), who thought life would be better far from his home in the mountains, happened upon the tempting loaf of bread. He stooped down and picked up a slice. After examining his newfound treasure he took a bite, relished in the taste and believed he would live happily ever after.
But alas, butter would not be created accidentally for another billion years!
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